


I Throw My Glove at You, Sir!

by YouLookGoodInLeather



Category: A Court of Thorns and Roses Series - Sarah J. Maas, Downton Abbey
Genre: Alternate Universe - Victorian, Crack, F/F, F/M, M/M, Multi, Seer!Elain, Utter Nonsense, written by request of the fandom wife
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-25
Updated: 2017-10-25
Packaged: 2019-01-23 03:34:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 756
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12497808
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/YouLookGoodInLeather/pseuds/YouLookGoodInLeather
Summary: Elain, a psychic detective, challenges Tomas Grayson to a duel. Thomas Barrow is salty he wasn't included in the original narrative and is #salty.Lucien cries in the corner.And that's the story folks.





	I Throw My Glove at You, Sir!

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ABookAndACoffee](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ABookAndACoffee/gifts), [illyrianrhys](https://archiveofourown.org/users/illyrianrhys/gifts).
  * Inspired by [This Darkness We Know](https://archiveofourown.org/works/12379464) by [ABookAndACoffee](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ABookAndACoffee/pseuds/ABookAndACoffee). 



> Look if you haven't read The Darkness We Know don't even bother with this nonsense. This fic only exists because I predicted @abookandacoffee's stunning fic completely incorrectly, and then got self-righteous and rage fueled that it wasn't as I demanded it to be. Also, #illryainrhys had some theories and they ended up in here too. So yep. This is a crack fic of a fic. Written for the brilliant, fantastic, truly worthy of a writing-oscar Leslie. 
> 
> p.s. I only had half a glass of wine to write this and that is worrying.

“Did you have to challenge him to a duel, miss?” Mrs Bates asks as she writes another letter to the courts to try and free her husband from jail for murdering this one dickbag. 

“Yes I did, the unruly curr. Thinking he could spite me. En garde!” Elain jeers, taking a two step towards the butler she has roped into practicing with her. Lucien watches from the corner, albeit a bit busy rocking back and forth having flashbacks to that one time he burned down his family home and shit. 

Too bad for all of them that the butler, a one Thomas Barrow - a most handsome, devilishly good looking, striking, dark, brooding, really, really  _ hot _ Thomas Barrow - was also the secret lover of the very curr she had challenged, Sir Tomas Grayson. And yes, it was awkward that they basically had the same christian name, but #gayproblems you know? Point was, he fully intended to ensure his lover won the duel, so that he might whisk him away to america, away from all these super gross heterosexuals. Especially since Jimmy had been written out of the plotline. 

Anyway, some shit happened, probably murder and crap who knows, and then eventually we got to cut to a scene of the super wicked duel that everyone signed the fuck up for. It was gonna be liiiiit. Or more, it was gonna get Thomas hella laid once his evil schemes got ascheming, as they do in every episode, because as we know, gays = evil. 

Then this one dude rocked up and he looked just like daredevil or like that hot dude Tristan from Stardust except he was a duke or some shit? Point was Elain looked at him with her magic fucking sailor moon powers and knew that ho was a good egg (even tho he a dick in canon yeah) and was like Thomas. THOMAS. Oh wait I forgot the speech marks two secs-

“Thomas!”

“Yeah, what? Ain’t no need to shout u str8.”

“Fuck off m8, u ain’t met my gangster girlfriend Amren.”

“Bitch, this is the fucking victorian era, gangsters aren’t a ‘thing’ till the 1920s. I think. Idk, I haven’t read any Edith Warton so idk any of this period detail bullshit. What did you want anyway.”

“I think, if you truly want to be happy, you should run off with that duke block right there.

Thomas looked at the duke man and yeah he was hot but then he saw, standing right behind him, was Jimmy! Jimmy! Jimmy! Like, this hot blonde dude who also rode dragons and shit in his spare time? Or maybe that was another film idk guys point is Jimmy was fucking fit as hell and ripped too so Thomas was like fuck u tomas and he and Jimmy ran off into the distance to go get gay married even tho this was victorian era-ish they surpassed the constraints of time with their epic love and it was super cute. 

“Lucien! Will you judge this match?” Elain called to her red head bitch who in this fic was her boss and she and Azriel were like his dogs it was weird but super great and super hot everybody was on board for it.

“Sorry babe, too busy thinking about how I burned the house down and nearly got all my family killed.”

“Oh, don’t worry, that’s cool. Az, u got me here babe?”

“Don’t call me babe. God is allergic to Eriel. Also I’m too busy sucking on this,” he considered googling the correct spelling of what he was drinking but figured fuck it, God will know what I mean, “Laudinum?? yeah that shit.” 

“Oh, okay. Um. Anyone?”

Anna Bates appeared and said yeah sure but then Nathaniel Black sprinted in because he’s so cool and stuff and a dork like me I mean uh like cool people so he came over and was the judge and also used to have sex with lots of people like Lucien and Azriel and stuff and there was lots of nice gay backstory there, excellent. 

Anyway there is a duel and stuff. Elain brandishes her sword and does some fucking epic bullshit like you know The Princess Bride? She’s like that one dude who’s like avenging his gf or something idk. anyway Tomas is a wanker nobody likes him and so she wins because of the power of love and then everybody has an orgy and it’s super fun and everyone is happy and nobody ever murderers anyone else ever again.

The End.   
  



End file.
